“Excuse me miss, do you know…

*GLARE* “Miss? Do I look like a miss to you? Can’t you read my hat?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry…sir? I just thought that with your hair and” *GULP* “curvaceous figure that you were…”

“Oh, so if a guy wants to maintain his figure and grow his hair out that makes him a woman, huh?”

“N…no…listen, I’m sorry to bug you, but I really need to find Ivan Ramos. Do you know if he’s around here?”

*CHUCKLE* “Kid, you must have a few screws looks…you’re taking to the man himself.”




*GASP* YOU’RE IVAN RAMOS? Oh no…

*FROWN* “Yeah…what were you expecting?”

*WHIMPER* “I was told that Ivan Ramos was the toughest white males alive; that he was covered in rippling muscles and wore his dark hair in a buzz cut; and that he never even held a feminine thing in his life, let alone wear it! But you’re all smooth and hairless, with long bleach blond hair, and your attire is downright feminine from your pink nails to your made up face to your skimpy bikini!” *SOB*

*GLARE* “Thanks for the recap, kid. So why the hell are you blubbering?”

*SOB* “Because I agreed with all the black boys at my school that I’d show up to school looking just like you!”




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