Kevin entered the house he was renting out just in time to see his roommate Tyler let out a big, disappointed sigh. It happened again. Kevin just knew it. I had happened one too many times and just pathetically easy to identify. Kevin followed with a sigh of aggravation, growing tired of coming home to this after a long day at work.
Let me guess,” Kevin started, “You stuck out again.”
Yeah…” Tyler sighed once more, still dressed from his day out earlier. Kevin figured he had gotten home just before he did.
That’s how many in the past two months now? Five? Six?”
Jesus, Tyler, I’m starting to think you’ll never meet the right woman.”
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! My conversation skills have improved. I have good hygiene going on. Why won’t they ever accept a second date?”
Maybe online dating isn’t what its cracked up to be. Maybe you should stop lying on your profile too.”
Oh, everyone lies on those things.”
That’s…” Kevin couldn’t even finish his sentence, rubbing his brow.
I just wish I could find somebody-a woman to be the perfect doting wife, who’s not too smart, you know?”
Oh yeah,” Kevin was starting to get an idea of why no woman wanted a second date with Tyler, “You’re definitely going to have an easy time finding a woman like that.”
Thank for having faith in me, man.” Tyler smiled, missing Kevin’s sarcasm.
You know what?” Kevin kept himself from yelling, “I wish I could come home to a wife like that instead of you.”
Meanwhile, at that moment, far far away in another dimension, there was a ghostly old ball of energy with a beard waking from his “nightly” slumber. Scratching where his butt would be, he rose out from his sleeping crater and floating over to his portal viewing into other dimensions. Smacking his “lips” he switched through the dimensions like channels on a television until he came across ours, which just so happened to be focusing on Tyler and Kevin’s conversation. Hearing both of their wishes, the ball of energy stroked his beard.
Ehhhh…Yeah, all right.” releasing a bright flash from himself, the ball sent it through the portal.
Yeah well,” Tyler responded to Kevin’s last remark, “The chances of me moving out are-Ahhh!”
Tyler and Kevin had both been blinded by a sudden bright flashing that seemingly originated from nothingness. Kevin leaned on the wall with one hand, disoriented. Tyler, however, managed to regain his vision, just as long tresses of auburn hair tumbled down from atop his head.
This isn’t right.” Tyler’s voice cracked as he grabbed his long hair.
His body slimmed down, shrinking to five feet and five inches from his previous six feet, his well-fitting clothes now loosening up on his frame. Moving hair from his vision Tyler noticed how his nails were painted a sky blue, his eyes blinking as they too change to a light shade of blue. His eyelashes fluttered with mascara and eyeshadow as his face’s features feminized; nose shrinking, eyes bigger, lips plumper, cheekbones higher, and eyebrows arching. The rest of Tyler’s masculinity began leaving him after that. A thin waist lead into wide hips and a rounder rear end. The alteration made Tyler squeal out a little “Eeee!” of surprise. Her voice sounded like that of a woman. She squealed again as she grabbed at the growing flesh under her shirt, forming into large breasts. Kicking her legs, her feet no longer touched the floor in the same way they did seconds earlier. In the middle of one of her kicks, both of her shoes were sent flying, unable to remain on such smaller feet. Mid-air, the brown sneakers morphed into black strappy three-inch pumps before landing on the floor with an audible plastic sound. Tyler blinked her big pretty eyes in disbelief before the rest of her clothes morphed as well. The black collared shirt blue jeans vanished, leaving her in stockings held up by a peach garter belt with matching panties and a bra. Ahh…” Kevin stood away from the wall, slowly regaining his sight again.
Are you all right, baby?” Tyler found herself asking in a sweet, high pitched voice.
Yeah… Yeah, I just…”
Well, like, don’t be rubbing your eyes forever, sweety,” she fluttered her lashes and moved her hair behind her ear, “I’ve been waiting here to, like, totally surprise you and stuff.”
Wow,” Kevin blinked, getting an eyeful of her, “You look great.”
Aww, thanks, Kevin baby.”
ls…Is that you, Tyler?”
Taylor,” she giggled, “As in, your wife?“
Wife?” Kevin thought it over, deciding to just roll with it, “Yeah, you’re a big improvement over Tyler.”
Like, totally!” she bounced up and pranced over to Kevin, giving him three pecks on the lips followed by a deep kiss, “Is there anything I can do to help you forget about your long day at work?“ she pouted her lips, fluttering her lashes again.
Say, Taylor…l think there is. How about…giving me a quickie before you…start on dinner?”
Of course, darling,” she yanked down his fly, “Anything for my loving hubby!”
As Taylor dropped to her knees, the ball of energy let out a disgruntled groan as the portal switched focus over to another group of people on Earth.