PRANK OF ALL PRANKS!!

There are two elements to any good prank. First is the humiliation. If the victim isn’t humiliated, then what is the point in pranking them? The second is the surprise. Putting someone’s hand in a bowl of water when they sleep isn’t unexpected or creative. It doesn’t work. Let me tell you about pranking 101. Maybe it sounds ridiculous for someone like me to be all elitist when it comes to pranking. It’s hardly a sophisticated thing to dedicate one’s life to perfecting the art of the proper prank. But with the onslaught of just the worst kind of amateurs filling the net with their poor attempts at the most basic shit, I think I need to make my case clear. To be a high-level prankster you need a great deal of creativity. You need a good target. I started my pranking career targeting “good” friends of mine.

Most of them probably regret being friends with me at this point, but happily, for them, I’ve started taking assignments from other people. So this girl that I kinda know has a boyfriend designing these amazing outfits. Her boyfriend mostly just hangs around doing nothing much but playing video games and eating fast food. A good target for a good prank. Some of the best pranks are the simplest ones. Say you woke up one day dressed as something unexpected. Something that would grab people’s attention if they saw you. Now you notice that you are in an unknown location, and you have no choice but to walk across town wearing this humiliating outfit I put you in. In the meanwhile, I sneak around filming your awkward stumbling, you are not particularly accustomed to walking in heels, especially when they’ve been glued on. Some good pranks also come with an unexpected bonus. Like being able to hand my client a lovely film that would make an excellent ad for her dresses. I think she’ll be happy with her new model. Who knew that you will start enjoying the attention you got from people. You are no longer a lazy, boring boyfriend but a beautiful model. Maybe I will ask you out on a date someday.

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