Unnng…my…my head! What happened to me…I can’t! What on Earth? Why am I wearing this? Who put me in stockings?? What’s going on???

Ah, you’re finally awake. Don’t worry, my pet, I’m not going to hurt you unless you resist. I’m sorry I had to drug your drink but when you came into the bar I knew I had to have you for myself. I adore girly looking boys and you are by far the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen. I just had to bring you to someplace private so l could bring out the girl in you.

So wait…you KIDNAPPED me??? Good grief, not again!

That’s right; I am going to make sure you…! Wait a minute. What do you mean by “not again”?

Do you think you’re the first person who kidnapped me because they thought I would look great as a girl? I think you’re the fifth. Maybe the sixth.

You mean to tell me you’ve been kidnapped SIX TIMES already?? I don’t believe you

It’s true. One guy grabbed me off the street, tied me up and drove me to Canada, and one woman tried to force me to be her bisexual son’s wife. Then there was that rich weirdo who locked me up in his penthouse apartment for three days and forced me to wear a Playboy Bunny outfit like he was Hugh Hefner.

I don’t know about any of that, but it doesn’t matter that you escaped those other kidnappers. You’re going to stay with me from now on and be my perfect little girl.

Oh, no I didn’t escape. I was set free by Charles.

All right, now who is this ‘Charles’?

Charles is probably the craziest stalker I have. He thinks I’m a girl and he becomes so insanely jealous if even talk to a man. The guy has the tracking abilities of a bloodhound, and I’m actually surprised he hasn’t found me yet-

(BANG BANG BANG) Honey I know you’re in there and I know you’re not alone. You know how jealous I get when you talk to other men! You are so pretty! So, so pretty! I’m going to chop up whoever is in there with you and feed the pieces to the rats I keep in the trunk of my car! HA! HA HA

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