“C’mon, you look good!” I said. “There’s no reason for you to be this upset.”

“Do you think that I am going to be less upset by the fact that you think I look ‘good?” he snarled. “I’m a man, you imbecile.”

Martin is, without a doubt, a complete asshole. He’s the kind of guy who believes that he is leagues ahead of anyone else in intelligence. If you disagree with him, it is because your mind is too small and frail to comprehend his point-of-view. Basically, he’s a narcissist who refuses to believe that he’s not always the most brilliant person in the room.

“Really, if you’re gonna be dressed like a girl, you would rather want to look good than ugly,” I said as I shrugged my shoulders.

“The point is not whether I am attractive or not, you utter moron,” he said. “It is the fact that I am dressed up like some sexy girl in the first place. Now, just tell me where she hid the key so that I can get out of this dreadful outfit and you can go back to doing something that no intelligent thought. Like playing your video game shooters.”

I like to pretend to be stupider than I really am when I am with Martin. Not that I ordinary act really clever, I don’t care if people think I am smart or not. Are you really a man if you care that much about what other people think about you? What should a real man have to prove about himself? When you have people like Martin you really have to wonder if they are men, in the first place

“What key?” I asked. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”

I lied, of course. I know where the key is. I don’t even think I sounded very convincing when I lied, but to Mar, t,i,n it ws the perfect opportunity to belittle me once again. He’s quite easy to maniprequires Iulate.

The key to the locker that contains my personal items, you mouth-breather,” Martin said. “It has my phone, my wallet, my real clothes in it. And… the other key.”

“Oh, the other key to what?” I asked.

“Gah! You know what the other key is for!” Martin yell,e,d “It’s for this damn chastity device she forced me to wear!”

He got dressed up like this because Mary, my sister, promised to make out with him. She said she was a lesbian, but she was lying. It is really funny how the supposed cleverest man around can’t figure out when a girl is messing with him. Why would someone as attractive as my girl want to sleep with a skinny little nerd?

“Oh, yeah…” I said. “I’ll guess you’re just gonna have to live with that thing on your manhood. Because I saw my sister flush that key down the toilet.”

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