“No, stop! This has gone far enough! I can’t go through with this!”

Aww, what’s wrong? Is our blushing bride getting cold feet?”

“I can’t marry your father! He’s over twice my age! And as you well know, I’m a MAN! You…you can’t make me do this!!”

“Oh, we can’t can we? I’m not so sure about that, my dear. We seem to have done a pretty good job so far! You only have yourself to blame. Perhaps before deciding that you were going to cheat an old widower out of his life savings by posing as a Russian lady online, you should have done a basic background check to find out whether he had ten fervently loyal and internet-savvy children living nearby who were capable of tracking you down!”

“I said I’m SORRY! Listen, I’m a wealthy guy…call this sham of a wedding off, I’ll give you double what I took off your old man!”




“No deal, beautiful! You made a vow to marry our father if he wired that money to you, and we’re going to make sure you keep it. Besides, thanks to the prenuptial agreement we put in place, you’ll hand over all your money and possessions to our father the moment you say I do!

Wha-what? I’ll be penniless!”

“Exactly. Completely dependent on your husband. Just like your Russian alter-ego said she’d be. Speaking of which…it’s about time ‘Katalena‘ made her full-time return, don’t you think? And remember: if any of us hear you talking in anything other than that adorable Russian accent we taught you EVER again, we’ll get the boys to shove this bouquet so far up your backside you’ll be coughing in pollen. Have we made ourselves clear. Katalena?

“Gulp…. Da! For western Husband, Katalena will make excellent housewife!”




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