Hey, I am not some sissy guy who dresses up in women’s clothing! Okay? I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything. Why am I wearing makeup? Well actually that’s to cover up the black eye from the manly fight I got myself into the other night. And that also explains the sunglasses too, even if they are a feminine design. Why do I have long feminine hair? Well, actually it’s quite common for straight guys to have long hair in this fashion now. I just decided to dye it blonde to make it look gorgeous. Why are my legs shaved? Actually, I heard its more hygienic to get rid of all your body hair, especially in the summer. I just decided to rub cream on my skin to make it more smooth. Why am I wearing blue denim shorts? Well, I didn’t want to wear a pair of scruffy jeans in the middle of summer, my legs would just burn up in the heat. It’s not like I wanted to show off how sexy my legs looked or anything.

Why am I wearing women’s footwear? Well for the same reason I’m wearing shorts because they allow the air to get to my feet. It’s not like I thought they looked cute or anything. Why am I wearing a blue feminine shirt? Well, actually they are what’s in fashion right now so I’m just following that if you must know. Why did I get my nails done? Wel.. erm.. okay I just couldn’t resist, they look so good, don’t they? And why am I holding hands with this guy? Erm…hmm let me think… well actually we weren’t holding hands, he was just feeling them because I told him they felt cold. Yeah, he was just warming them up for me. It’s not like he is my boyfriend who makes out with me every night. So I’m not some sissy guy who is in denial. I have a perfectly reasonable, non-gay explanation for why I am dressed like this. Hmm maybe I should start wearing high heels instead of flats tomorrow… erm… just to make me look taller, that’s all.

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