Mom? I’m bored.
Bored?!? What do you mean, “Bored”? Brian, when I told you the company had a spot for a female intern you begged and pleaded with me to sponsor you and let you come to work as a girl. I’m letting you come to work as a girl and now you’re complaining you’re bored. You’re not here to be entertained. You’re here as an employee, even if you are here as a girl.
I know, I’m sorry, Mom. I thought it would be so much fun being a girl and having to come into work in skirts and heels and be treated like a girl by everyone. I practically swooned when Miss Johnston in HR told me during orientation that the company dress code forbids me from wearing pants to work, and I’d be required to wear nylons every day! But, it’s been a week and all I do here is answer the phone
and type schedules into the computer.
Brian, just because you look wonderful as a girl it doesn’t mean you have any special privileges as a girl. If you want to work here as a professional young woman you need to learn how to behave like a professional young woman. For one thing, you need to stop slouching in your chair and sit up straight. And pull your skirt down! If you improve your work ethic you won’t be so bored here.
I’m sorry, Mom, you are right. What do you want me to do?
Okay, you have been watching me and what I’ve been doing all morning and taking notes, right? Let’s see how much you have learned so far. When I meet with the vice president I can let her know your performance so she can decide whether or not to keep you here.
All right. From 9:00 am to 9:30 you came in and stayed in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking to Harriet about recipes. From 9:30 to 10:30 you went onto the computer and did online shopping. From 10:30 to 11:30 you did your nails…two coats. At 11:30 you had me get you more coffee, and from 11:30 to 11:45 you gossipped on the phone with someone in accounting about how much of a slut the vice president is and how she is a complete self-centered bitch.
YES! WELL..ahem… think that is enough note taking. Go back and sit at your desk, relax, and play “Galactic Space Zombies” on the computer…and don’t worry about the performance review. Oh, and how does a raise sound?
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